- "Did we fool around last night?"
- "Smell your fingers."
- "They smell like dish soap I just washed my hands."
- "Well, now you'll never know."
— my mom’s latest life advice.
I think if I stayed late at work every day this week I still wouldn’t feel caught up which is awesome, great, really helping with the whole feeling-like-you’re-constantly-drowning thing I’m currently experiencing
- Woman 1: You ever try masturbating? It's very relaxing and it's not fattening.
- Woman 2: I like penis.